May 31st, 2004

Time: 04:33 pm

Well, heck.

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May 15th, 2004

Current Music: Why do humans put themselves in cartoons about Kenya??? Subject: Stoopid... Time: 10:10 pm Current Mood: pissy

Okay, so what if I was a little slow to kill the demon egg things? They got rights, too, y'know. I mean, what if it was a little me in there? Okay, yeah, so when they hatched they started trying to kill everything in sight, but we shouldn't go judgin' 'em before they're born... But you try to tell certain "girlfriends" that and oh, nooooo... "Clem, baby, you're just upset. This is heroic." Whatever. Y'know, you can't go around judgin' things cuz they're demons. I mean, I was a demon once... And lemme tell ya somethin', it was twice as cozy as being a human. Insulated for the cold months, networked, connections, a viable community underground for similar minded nonhumans. It was pretty swell, really. ... I hate this.

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April 27th, 2004

Subject: Posted from a Motorola Phone Time: 02:26 pm Current Mood: aggravated

Still out here destroying demon eggs. Because, you know - demon babies have no rights. No chances to grow up and become something better and useful. Altogether, human good, demon bad, right? And I am not becoming a whiner like a certain person has suggested. Oh, hey, another young life to decimate! 'scuse me.

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April 19th, 2004

Subject: Culinary Mix-Ups Time: 05:01 pm Current Mood: annoyed

//Firewalled Against Shan and the rest of the house// Y'know, no matter how much ranch dressing I put on this, it just doesn't taste the same... To heck with these human tastebuds. Mmm... Wash it down with a little more vodka? Yes, please... I wonder if anybody noticed it's missing. It didn't so much as mew when I put it in the pot... //End Firewall//

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April 14th, 2004

Time: 03:47 pm Current Mood: hung over

hungover. drank way too much. just not gettin' the whole human response to the big smasheroo. just gonna pack up this ps2 and ship it off to california to its new owner. and for the love of mike, stop yelling.

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April 10th, 2004

Time: 12:06 am Current Mood: drunk

Ran outta beer.. gotta get the hard liquor... I wanna kitten. WHY CAN'T I HAVE A KITTEN? It's perfectly acsheptable to eat kittensh when yer a demon. 'snot fair. I miss. I want... I want... Stupid smooth skin, can't hide anything, can't... Nothing... Just stupid... Can't be... I need more boosh. Fuckin' human form. Stupid. Could hold WAY more bfor. Stupid. *cry* Shan lovesh me. She doesh... Why... can't...

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April 7th, 2004

Subject: All Moved In! Time: 06:02 pm Current Mood: okay

Hey, I'm all moved in to Xander's place... Ended up selling some of my stuff so there wasn't redundancy, like two televisions, two gaming systems (my PS2 is on E-bay right now, under my user name floppyfolds), and two microwaves. I'm sleeping in Xander's bed, because I like that whiny effeminate kid and all but his room just kinda scares me. I mean, I'm somethin' of a geek, but sheesh. Crazy. Anyway, Shan is... Shan is good. And I'm ... I'm pretty good. And we're all happy. Sooo very happy. Because you know, we don't mind that the entire demon population has turned on us, that doors that were once open are now firmly shut in our face... There's no bitter here about any of that. Hey, beer in the fridge. I think I'll have five one.

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April 2nd, 2004

Time: 07:59 am

Is anybody else just a little freaked that my body started demonizing yesterday? 'kay, mind you, wasn't in it, but still... Fuck. Shit. Dammit. Aw, heck. What if the change isn't permanent??? What if things had gone south yesterday and my Shannie-poo would've never loved me again???

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April 1st, 2004

Time: 09:37 pm

Back to to human . . . thanks, baby. Still not in my own body, though. Damn.

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Subject: Weird. Time: 04:04 pm

Two floppy ears just popped out of the side of my head. Strange days, man.

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Time: 10:08 am

Okay, my name's not Pike now . . . it's Clem. Dude, I so didn't put in for a body change. Least I have a body this time. There's a message on this guy's machine from a Shannon makin all sortsa kissy noises, and I'm like, man, no. Unless that's where my baby is, but Amy doesn't really get cutesy like that. But then I read that my girl is in Willow, which is kinda weird in its own way, cuz I know those two don't really get along... I need some food. All this dude has is Wheat Thins and Dr. Pepper... And 10 different varieties of the Discovery Channel. Weird day.

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March 31st, 2004

Time: 10:33 pm Current Mood: uncomfortable

Baby? What the hell . . . Where am I? Ah, man, I know I'm still on the wagon. I cannot be stoned right now. Come find me, baby. Please?

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Time: 09:23 am

Packing my stuff up continues - I'm going to be selling my PS2 here soon, so I can get a little extra cash for food. I may have to let me stereo go, too, which would completely suck... Human finances are complicated... Hey, speaking of - I have a list of DVDs I'm selling for five bucks a pop, anybody wants 'em. I'm only sellin' to close friends, though, so no outside inquiries, etc. Yeah, anyway. *sigh* I could really use a place to crash, at least for awhile. *HINTHINT* Xander *cough* you wouldn't know of a place that might have a person moving out of it soon, say to Africa? Cuz I could totally watch over such a place for a few months, you know, whatever. I could move in today if necessary. Bring me closer to Shan, anyway...

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March 26th, 2004

Time: 12:31 pm

Well, after the initial shock (and its been a lot of shock - been too busy to post just to get the shock worn off), Shannon-doh and I are happier than ever. I mean, she seems really pleased with the transformation, and if she's happy, I'm happy. Things could not go more perfectly... //Firewalled Against Shannon// Er... except that I'm getting evicted. My building's gotten more and more demon-friendly of late, to the point of being human-unfriendly. And there have been complaints. The smell of humanflesh, for one thing, is really bothering the Smitxes downstairs, and they're concerned, cuz she's with spawn, and they don't want any human infections and... Well, it doesn't seem fair, and my landlord was really nice about it, but... I gotta get out of here in two weeks time. I don't have any real money of my own. No way to get a job, cuz of no Social Security number... All of my demon monetary resources have dried up. I'm not invited to kitten poker anymore... But Shannon's so happy, and I couldn't think to let her down, because she just thinks this is so great, y'know? And I did it for her, and there's no way I can take back a gesture like that, right? Gosh, this human stuff can be tough... //End Firewall// Erm, it really sucks that Dawny and Buffy left... Plus, Mr. Giles and that whiny effeminate guy. Slayer Central seems, like, way quiet now. Fewer complaints about the noise, though! ;)

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March 16th, 2004

Time: 01:56 pm

Things I don't like find different about being human... 1) Certain foods just don't sit as well on the palate... i.e. yak's piss and *sigh* kittens. 2) Demon connections have all but dried up. I'm completely broke. I need to get a job. 3) My special places have moved... and I only have the one. 4) My hearing isn't as good - I have to turn the television up a lot. 5) Human women keep looking at me. It's very disconcerting. Why do they do that? 6) I can't cheat at cards like I used to. But... it's all for Shannon... Have to remember that. Long as she's happy, I'm happy. Now, I've got bills comin' up... Ah, gee. I don't have a Social Security number... Heck.

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March 11th, 2004

Subject: Oh, Shaaaaanooooon.... Time: 06:30 pm Current Mood: human

Check me out!

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March 3rd, 2004

Time: 06:54 pm Current Mood: discontent

Xander and Andrew are amusing me. I can't make lightsaber noises myself - it's a limitation of my vocal chords. Sure would be fun, though. If I were human... //Firewalled to Willow// Okay, here's the dealie. I'm crazy about Shan. She's like, the Bugle of my eye. Except not quite as pointy, cuz that would hurt. But, I know she'd be way happier if she was dating me, but like, a human me. So that's what I'm trying to do. But I don't know which spell is right for me, and all of 'em require a really high-level magic user, and I'm just not that good with the stuff. At all. Heck, I've only used it once or twice, and that was for dimension crossing, which comes naturally to my... anyway. So, ya think you could help me out with that? //End Firewall//

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February 29th, 2004

Current Music: Mastercard commercial Subject: Oscar Night! Time: 09:12 pm Current Mood: hm

Shanoramic and I are cuddled up watchin' the Oscars with some popcorn, Bugles, and Dr. Pepper. Lost in Translation is up for Best Picture, and that's what I'm rootin' for - though Shan was really excited when Finding Nemo won Best Animated Feature... //Firewall// Is is just me, or does she keep ogling Johnny Depp? Swell actor, but decidedly unfoldy... *whimper* Oh, well. Maybe I'll have a solution to that soon... //End Firewall//

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February 28th, 2004

Time: 01:17 pm Current Mood: contemplative

Shan and I are really having, you know, a swell time. Which is really great, because, I'm a demon, and it's really neat of her to put up with that, because I know the folds get in the way and things don't always work quite the same, anatomically speaking and scary face can get pulled at really embarassing moments. So, it's really great of her. Shan. Really. //Firewalled// But, y'know, maybe she'd be happier if I wasn't quite so demony. I mean, she's probably had lots of human boyfriends and she's thinkin', oh, well, Clem's great and all, but his skin's just not that smooth, and I want her to be happy with me. Really I do. Gosh... //End Firewall// Anyway, I, um... I'm gonna go moisturize now.

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February 19th, 2004

Current Music: "We LIKE THE MOON!" Subject: More Time With Shanster Time: 10:15 am Current Mood: dorky

Well, gee, last night Shan and I had dinner cuz nothing was on television (and nothing ever is... I'm kinda afraid that Wednesdays will be blank forever). I mean, we had dinner. Last night was just good timing for it. We didn't have dinner because I wasn't watching TV. Heck no. We can have dinner anytime. It's just that Wednesday was really convenient and oh I should probably be shutting up now. Anyway... Things went smoothly for a while, y'know, we had some Dr. Peppers and watched Friends on DVD. I'd hustle over to the kitchen to check on the food... She asked me what we were having, and I'm like, "cacciatore," and she just freaked out. She's, like, "Clem! You promised me you wouldn't eat the kittens! And now you're feeding them to me???" I was so confused. Then, yeah, okay, it's sorta pronounced "cat-chitorrie" so I can see where she was coming from, so I had to show her the chicken I made it with and promised a feline free meal. Still, that kinda hurt. But dinner went fine, otherwise. Then we snuggled up and watched Casablanca... Or, you know, "watched." Hee.

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